Hello everyone!ヾ(☆▽☆) How was your day? Please tell me...!✿
I'm going to tell you about yesterday... While the lockdown did start I had to go back to school for one day to take an exam. Stressful! And three of my friends weren't there to take the exam. I'm worried about them!(｡╯︵╰｡)
The exam was kind of tiring... I couldn't give doll boy his present again and I completly forgot to give sunshine girl the chocolate and wish her fun holidays... I'm sorry.｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡
I walked to the tram station with funky boy. It was fun! I think I can be very open when talking to him. So I told him of a recent happening that was still on my mind. Well, in the end we could both laugh about it! So that's good! In the tram mermaid girl joined us for a short while. Recently I'm always so in awe with her hair.
Once I was home I didn't do much.
But then! A chance! I had some time to myself. I immediately made a call to one of my long time online friends. Recently we haven't been talking alot but I always feel at ease when we talk. I'm glad to see she's doing well.♡( ◡‿◡ )
Then I called my German online friend. Oh my. It was once again very?!! Odd... I'm not sure. I'm sorry.
I wanted to call my new friend too but In the end it made me too nervous and I bailed. Sorry! One day.
I stayed up for a long time. Suddenly I saw that battle boy started livestreaming! It was fun! Fun! Fun! Elf girl joined for a short while too. It felt nice to listen to him for an hour or so. I hope I can become better friends with him.
Recently you see... It's all so tiring. I can't help but be negative these days. And I'm not sure what I'll do about contacts without going to school. I'm scared of being isolated and left alone with my thoughts without any distractions. Even in school recently I feel I'm bad at making friends... Like, I get along with everyone and have friends but!! I want closer friendships. More communication. Though I understand my way of behaving can be quite exhausting at times.
Another problem is... I tried surpressing my problems for a very long time so now they're all kind of boiling up. I hate my weight, my height, my name, my voice, all these things. I can't bring myself to do anything. I wish I could be happylucky everyday. I try to surround myself with happylucky things and thoughts but... I just don't know how to keep it up!
Now for some more happylucky things I guess!
I've been doing alot of karaoke again.ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪ Yay! It helps me get rid of my stress a bit.
I've also been researching old-school lolita fashion alot. It has such an interesting history. To be quite frank, I really wish I could have cute clothes. Maybe some day!
I found an interview with Daniele Vidal on youtube today, that made me happylucky.(♡°▽°♡)
And of course I've been listening to lots of idol songs. I realized that the sugary, almost kitschy lyrics can help me understand my own feelings better at times, as silly as it sounds but it's not like I'm in love or anything.
Today I wanted to bid on some Lemon Angel things but I decided not to last minute. I'm not sure why.
I want to draw more but recently there's not much I actually have the motivation for to do.
I overate today. I'm sorry.
(I fell asleep here! Sorry. But something very happylucky happened when I went to bed, so I couldn't stop smiling while trying to go to sleep, it's silly but it made me so happy! I felt like I wasn't even physically capable of smiling as much as my body wanted to.)
Sooo... Today! I'm not sure... My body has been acting up. It's annoying.
I want to be healthy.
I think I'm gonna bid on some vintage shoujo bags and a Curla-chan styling head tomorrow. (Maybe a skirt or legwarmers if I'm brave too...)
Oh! I also tried using Paint 3D for the first time and made a silly little character. Isn't she cute? I'll call her Lala!
Bye bean my friends! Stay safe!ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚
Everyone!!! Happylucky good day!!!(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡
I'm going to recap some recent happenings and stuff today!
Monday was pretty normal.
But you see! Forest girl is in the process of moving, and guess where! It's just eight minutes away from where I live by walking! Isn't that amazing?! So on the way home we could take the same bus and talk for a long time and the we got off at the same station! That's way happylucky, no?!
Then yesterday was the last day at school before we'd go into lockdown again. Scary. I wanted to give fairy girl and doll boy chocolates and some other things but both of them weren't there unfortunately. I hope during this lockdown I won't be too bored without my friends or any distractions from my thoughts... I'll just have to get through it as best as I can!(＠＾◡＾)
Some other things I did was make a funny photostory with pictures of my schoolmates. We all laughed alot about it. Also yesterday I called my online friend! It's so lovely to get to talk with someone who's from Germany and likes the same music as I do. But it was bold I feel... Gotta be careful!!!
I also texted sugar girl. She's so sweet. I wish I could talk to her more often in school, well now that's even more unlikely! So sad.(｡╯︵╰｡)
Ah by the way! When I go home I always pass this cute second hand clothing shop. I take a quick glance at the stuff they show in the windows everytime. There were cute lace nightgowns, and also a really lovely white top with puffed sleeves!(≧◡≦) ♡
Today I crafted a little hair ribbon clip from ribbons I got from candy packaging. I love cute accessories! I hide all my hair clips and things in a little pink bag in my room. And nail polish I took from my mother too! Then I continued subtitling a Lemon Angel video.
That's it for today! Happylucky bye bean my friends!( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡
HELLO!!!!\(★ω★)/
I just got home and I'm very excited.(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
Today was like THE WORST OF THE WORST... But also the best of the best?! Let me explain... I did many spontaneous things! At least for me.
Hmm...
First was Spanish class. I arrived wayyy too early and sat in the room with battle boy and another classmate. They started playing old German openings... It was kinda embarassing.(⌒_⌒;) I was supposed to present in Spanish class that day with sunshine girl but the other group took up all the time, ugh.(」＞＜)」
Then German class. It was funny!!! crystal boy sat to my left and doll boy to my right. I gave crystal boy a Kinder Surprise egg I originally brought for imp girl, but she wasn't in class. We were talking about how the toys in the eggs have been getting worse but he actually got like this really cute figurine! Happylucky!!!°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
I gave doll boy the rest of my chocolate.
Then doll boy presented something. Me and crystal boy couldn't stop laughing about it, since we disagreed so much with what he said. Eh?! We may have been a bit rude. Like almost every sentence doll boy said me and crystal boy looked at each other and made silly faces.
But elf girl also gave me that look. It was like... UGHHH SERIOUSLY????(*´艸)(艸｀*)
Like that.
By the way my German teacher has always been saying some really questionable stuff recently when we talk about feminism in class. I hope he's just joking.Σ(O_O)
Then after school I stayed a bit with all my other schoolmates. I saw imp girl and gave her a clementine. I wanted to say something to tree boy but he just said "no.". I hope we can get along again one day. One by one we became less until it was only mystic girl, elf girl, doll boy and me.
Suddenly we found out that tree boy's boyfriend's car had a flat tire. Imp girl was with them too. We walked to their car. It looked really bad?!(⊙_⊙) They walked to their friends house. I hope they're doing OK.
(The picture of the christmas tree isn't from today but I really like how the edit turned out so I wanted to share it here too.) Then mystic girl, elf girl, doll boy and me walked to the tram station. On the way suddenly mystic girl just fell down?!Σ(□_□) It was like BIG SHOCK!!!!ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ But thank god she was fine. Afterwardw we could all laugh about it. Doll boy kept saying vulgar things, I assume to get a reaction out of us? Elf girl and me were so done with it... Like let's pretend we didn't hear that.<(￣ ﹌ ￣)> But he said he was happy alot today too so that made me happylucky. Elf girl went home. I got in the tram with mystic girl but then?! Doll boy was still outside. People from the public order office(is that a word...) stopped him?!＼(º □ º l|l)/ Because he wasn't wearing a mask at the station. The officers asked him odd questions too! Of course mystic girl and me waited for him. I would've been so scared.
We sat down and when our tickets got checked doll boy couldn't find his ticket so he basically emptied all his pockets on his seat. It was kinda funny, he found he is ticket in the end though thank god!
After that I feel doll boy wasn't doing so well... He kept cursing to himself.
I tried to talk more with mystic girl. She wore some really cute handcrafted accessories today!(´｡• ω •｡`) ♡
Doll boy started saying weird and upsetting things. I hope he's feeling a bit better now. Something about our schoolmates and fitting in.
After that mystic girl and doll boy went to exit the tram at the central station. I don't know what got into me but I spontaneously got off and came with them even though I actually still had to go further to go home.
A weird man started shouting at mystic girl and doll boy about not knowing where to go. I think he was a bit ill in the head. I felt sorry for him but also got a bit scared. I don't know how those two managed to talk to him. This is why I hate the central station. ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡
After that doll boy's behaviour got even stranger. He decided he'd walk to the next station. He skipped and cursed at random times and generally said worrying things. I'm a bit worried. Mystic girl and me followed him. When we arrived we just ran into the bus mystic girl had to take.☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ I didn't even know where it went but thank god it actually stopped at where I had to exist. During the drive doll boy told us he wanted to skin a dog... Oh my! Like recently he's been going on about veganism giving him good karma but now he says stuff like that. He's a bit silly at times. Just like that!
I said I didn't want to go home and doll boy said he'd walk home with me. So we said goodbye to mystic girl and left at my usual station.
I started walking. Not the usual way though. If my parents saw me come home at an odd time like this and not on the usual way. It'd be a big disaster! That's what I think at least. Last time I took a walk alone they got really scared for me. Thank god I told my father I would have alot of classes today, so I had a bit more time to myself.
Anyways, I ran a bit, then slowed down. Doll boy talked to me about many topics, some were kind of stressful. I'm quite concerned about his mental state recently, he's been doing worse I feel. I'm so worried.(╥﹏╥)
I told him I wanted to cross a certain bridge(it's like an elevated one on top of a road). So we did that. On the bridge he said something. I'm not sure if I understood right, but if it was really what I think it was it made me happylucky! Finally a happylucky moment today!(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ Then we took a photo together.
Afterwards he told me something I couldn't believe. It was like BIG SHOCK?!?!?!Σ(°△°|||)︴ Because it was the complete opposite of what I thought... Oh my, oh god, oh my. I need to process it first! This is why I'm scared of trying to get along with too many people. It gets hard to pick a side.
We walked a bit more. Then I accompanied him to the closest station to my home and hugged him goodbye. It was a weird walk altogether. I don't know what to think! I was expecting to be happylucky after getting to hang out with my best friend for a while but... My thoughts were a big mess!
Ah, I forgot. In the very beginning in German class he told me he was feeling nauseous(I think from eating too many sweets), that concerned me. He also talked alot about wanting to do drugs today. And wanting to get like... dependant on alcohol. And alot about killing dogs. I wish I could help him more but I'm kind of a bad friend and say insulting things without realizing it. I'm sorry! Punch!!! PUNCH!!! PUNCH!!!!!! But really as rude as I may seem towards him he's my important friend and I care about him alot.
Anyways he acted odd today, even more so than usual. But in a worrying way. It made me cry one or two times thinking about it today.
At home of course! I did some karaoke to let out my feelings and stress. Betsy & Chris, nostalgic AKB48 songs and things like that. Some songs from Lemon Angel too! Indian Summer has a fun choreography, even though I'm still struggling a bit with the dance break part.
I recorded alot of videos of myself dancing and singing.ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪
My diet has been going good too! I feel I can go down another kg soon.
Then I researched some of the history of dollz. It was fun but I want to learn much more about them!
That was basically my day?
(LIAR LIAR LIAR!!! I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT... It made me sad. But it's okay now. I will! Be happylucky again! And I'll definitely meet up with a good friend soon, I haven't done anything like that in many years that's why I was looking forward to it so much.)
Happylucky bye bean to all my friends!
Stay angelic!ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚
Happylucky good evening!(◕‿◕)♡
How! Are! You?! I hope happylucky energy is filling you up!!!!!!°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
Yayyy!!!!!!(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
Today was... Hmm! Odd! But right now I'm feeling OK. I hate these moodswings! (╥﹏╥)
First up... We had like a painting class but I was so stressed about my exam that I didn't paint anything at all and only studied?!! I hope my teacher isn't upset because of that... Mermaid girl helped me study! Happylucky! However she and my other schoolmate kept talking about weird pornographic topics... I was like... SERIOUSLY...?(＞﹏＜) But oh well!
Elf girl was doing better today so that made me happylucky!٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶
Then during break... Fairy girl wasn't doing so well! I gave her some chocolate. I hope she will feel better soon...μ_μ But purple girl comforted her. I showed imp girl a photo of me and a friend I thought was cute. But she said something vulgar about it?!(〃＞＿＜;〃) I feel at least... I hope it was a joke...
Then we took the exam... AAAAAAAAH I hate this?!?!?! Punch!!! PUNCH!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!(╬ Ò﹏Ó) It was so hard. Or maybe I just wasn't prepared enough?! Either way, I'm not so happy with how I did... I hope I won't get a failing grade?! 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。
Then! Biology class!!! It was so fun. I'm in a group with elf girl and forest girl! Happylucky! Though forest girl didn't come today... I hope she feels better soon!(╯︵╰,)
But it was fun with elf girl. We gossiped about a certain schoolmate. And had lots of fun doing our project! I laughed alot! Happylucky!｡*:☆(・ω・人・ω・)｡:゜☆｡ Gossiping was fun but I'm shocked of the things some people apparently do. Oh well!
Next was history class! Sunshine girl and crystal boy presented on two very interesting topics! The ouija board and flapper girls. They did so well!(♡°▽°♡) I had so much fun listening to them presenting...! I forgot to give sunshine girl her daily chocolate though... I'm sorry!
Speaking of chocolate, doll boy promised he'd give me chocolate today but he didn't even come today. Well, it's expected!
I talked a bit to ghost girl! Hearing her view on someone was fun!
On the way to the tram station I was walking with funky boy, purple girl and color girl! Funky boy seems to be doing better today so I'm happylucky about that!(≧◡≦) ♡ I was so happylucky when he hugged me. He's so tall, so next to him I feel like a small porcelain doll.
In the tram I was sitting with color girl when! Suddenly one of our old classmates showed up. Actually I don't like him alot but don't tell anyone. He talked a bit to us. About doll boy too?! It's funny.(x_x)⌒☆
I was glad when that guy left though, I really don't like his attitude. Even the way he said goodbye left a bad taste in my mouth! I still remember our first interaction... Him telling me to hide his tobacco when I was still 14. Weird person! I doubt he'll appear alot more though so I won't give him a name just yet.
Ahh it was a stressful day indeed! I say as I literally don't do anything outside of going to school...
I hope my Nana-chan doll will arrive in Germany soon!(｡•́︿•̀｡)
At home I did some karaoke to Onyanko Club and even Mi-Ke!?ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪ It was fun.
But I feel I overate. I want to lose weight! It's hard...
WAITTT I completly forget to tell you all of my recent obsession. It's so odd. It's 'The Simple Life' starring Paris Hilton. I watched the first 4 seasons in just a few days and now I'm taking a break so I can enjoy the 5th season more! I really don't want to get to the last episode that's why... Crystal boy likes the show too! It's fun to talk about.ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )ﾉ When I'm sad the show distracts me a bit and I can feel happy again! I definitely recommend it! The first 4 seasons are all on youtube. The 5th one is on dailymotion.
(BY THE WAY... I don't know what to do about tomorrow... Two of my friends said I shouldn't go because it'd be dangerous and they're worried about me but ghost girl said it'd be cute! So I'm CONFLICTED... Especially since it's been such a long while since I've done anything and it's like... AHHHH!!! PUNCH!!! PUNCH!!!!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(っ•﹏•)っ ✴==≡눈٩(`皿´҂)ง Well I doubt it'll be a problem anyways. When I heard about it yesterday it made me happylucky! So it'll be OK.)
Happylucky bye bean my friends!
I hope you have the best day ever!ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚
Happylucky good evening!°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° Or night?
Sorry for not updating in a while... I've been really stressed and not doing so well.
How have you been?! I hope everything is going okay for you.
Today I will talk about some minor happenings and things regarding my friends, and also media I like recently!
Let's la happylucky go!!!ヽ(o´∀`)ﾉ♪♬
Sooo where do I start...
UMMM actually not a WHOLE lot happened. Like... The days have been going by so quick.
I feel everyone is kind of tired! Like... forest girl and doll boy have barely been coming to school. Fairy girl too.
I'm worried about all three!(｡╯︵╰｡)
Then... AAAAAAH everything is just too stressful!!! Punch! PUNCH!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!(ಠ o ಠ)¤=[]:::::>
Schoolwork is too much, it's hard to stay happylucky and positive recently but I'm trying my best!
In these moments Mizuno Aoi's music is soothing to me. I've also been watching the anime Lady Lady. It's way cute!
It reminds me a bit of Candy Candy, even the names are simillar! I'm also quite proud of myself for watching it without subtitles but still understanding most of it! Happylucky!☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆
Sooo... AH! There were two happenings regarding the bus/tram... Recently I was in the bus and a man just a few rows behind me was touching himself and moaning loudly?!?!!?! It was WAY uncomfortable... I was like... shocked?!
Punch! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!! How can anyone do this?!!!｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡
The other incident was that my ticket got checked but I forgot to extend my ID so I had to pay a fee...
AAAH... So silly. I was really scared in the moment!
Recently I always carry my Izumi doll with me to school. Her presence is soothing to me!
I feel I've also gotten closer to a few people... Cigarette boy, imp girl! They're all so sweet.
By! The! Way! I have made a new friend recently... I think?!!?! I'm not completly sure!
I will introduce her now! Hmm... what should I call her...
OMG- Sorry I fell asleep here...
I will call her melon girl because alot of her instagram handles seem to include the word melon!
Anyways, she's way kind! We've only texted so far but I'm looking forward to meeting her someday!
Sooo... I guess? I'll just talk about my day...?! There were no major incidents but... I feel a weird mix of emotions... It's frustrating! I feel very happy but also very sad... I wish it would stop!
Hmm... First period was maths class. We are gonna write a maths exam tomorrow but I am so scared... My maths grades have been dropping recently. Punch! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!(>_<)
Next we had like computer class... It's fun but I hate the teacher. He seems to have really weird morals?! Anyways, I think ghost girl is gonna make a website too! That'd make me very happy... Fairy girl wasn't there unofrtunately!... I hope she's okay. Same for earth girl... She hasn't been in school for weeks!(╯︵╰,) I finally saw forest girl today again though. She seems to be doing fine. And I'm acting as sunshine girl's human advent calendar like last year! By giving her a piece of chocolate every day.
Soo... I'll introduce another friend of mine! I'm gonna call her elf girl... The reason why you may ask? She's very short! But is always direct, like a charming elf! We've been saying we're wood elves! Yay! Happylucky!°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° I like her alot because she's always honest but also accepts everyone and just exudes a very positive aura! But today she was feeling sick... That worried me.(μ_μ)
In design class... AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! PUNCH!!!! PUNCH!!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!!..・ヾ(。＞＜)シ WHAT WAS THAT....?!!!!!＼(〇_ｏ)／
Anyways. Doll boy is finally coming to school again! I'm so happylucky! I promised him I'd give him chocolates so I did just that.
The rest of the period our projects were graded... It was kind of an odd mood. Two of my schoolmates cried over their grade. It made me very sad. The projects were all very personal. Imp girl explained her project to me and it made me cry a bit. It totally touched me!!! Like WAY touched me.(｡T ω T｡)
Later elf girl wasn't feeling so well... Ahh... I was so worried.(｡•́︿•̀｡) I hope she get's well soon! Amen!!!! Thank God doll boy helped her go home before class ended!
I also talked to someone during that class who I've been wanting to talk to for a while. She seems so kind! Happylucky!
I'm just the tiniest bit worried about funky boy... Usually, no matter if the sun was shining or if it was pouring, if you asked him how he was he would always answer that he way doing amazing. But today he didn't. So I'm worried... I hope he'll do better soon. Like that?! Please...
During break imp girl told tree boy that her project made someone cry and when he found out it was me he gave her a thumbs up... EH?!!?!?!?!.｡･ﾟﾟ･(＞_＜)･ﾟﾟ･｡. ..... I don't know what to think. By the way! ... Funky boy told me something shocking a while ago. He told me that sometime ago he met up with purple girl, tree boy and his boyfriend. But you see... They said bad things about me apparently...! Funny thing is, right about when that happened I started distancing myself from all three of them... And I even said cruel things about purple girl which I regret now! Punch!!! PUNCH!!! PUNCH☆ｏ(＞＜；)○(myself this time...)!!!!
After class I wanted to go home with doll boy. But then he talked to tree boy for a while so I went to the tram station. I was a bit tired and way ready to end the day on a bad note. But then I waited at the tram station. It was a bit cold but I finally saw doll boy come! In the tram I had alot of fun talking to him after quite a long while now... Would you believe me if I told you my schoolmates told me that yesterday he jumped out of the window from like the lowest floor... Like it was the lowest so not really dangerous but STILL?...ヽ( `д´*)ノ
Anyways I opened up to him about some things and then I waited with him at another station. Then he said 2 things that me super happylucky! After that I went home and I was jumping and skipping the whole way. Happylucky energy was at 176%!!!!＼(＾▽＾)／
Then at home... AHHH I have too much schoolwork... And that's all really... OMG... I'm so tireeeed!!!!!!!(╥﹏╥)
I called one of my German online friends and we talked for a bit. It was fun! He showed me a movie and we were just making silly jokes! Happylucky energy at 234%?!?!?!?!o( ❛ᴗ❛ )o
I've also been texting cigarette boy almost daily now... He always says motivating things! I love him so much!
That's it basically!
I hope you have a nice day! Bye bean my friends!♡( ◡‿◡ )
(I still can't believe it! I'm the happyluckiest girl in the entire world... Well, except for those two things on my mind!)
Good evening! How was your day?
UMMM... Today was kinda chaotic. Anywayssss....
First we had maths class. I forgot my forgot. I felt so embarassed to admit to forgetting it!!!
NEXT... Computer class. We learned more about html! It was so much fun. I sat next to fairy girl and ghost girl and I had so so much fun talking to them! However our teacher deadnamed 2 of my classmates repeatedly... Fairy girl and me got mad. How can a teacher do this?!?! I lost all my respect for him. By the way! Fairy girl also started her own website!
Check it out!!!!! It's so cool.
Then we had three periods of design/arts class. However I decided to 'work' at home so I left to the tram station quickly.
At home I made my father drive me to McDonald's because I was a bit sad and needed comfort food.
Then I cleaned up and that was basically my day. Sorry it was kinda boring... Bye bean!
Hello everyone!!!( ✪ワ✪)ノʸᵉᵃʰᵎ How was your day?
Today was... Oh I'm not sure. I'm kind of in a sentimental mood right now!!! I just want to be happylucky.
First period made me so mad... The teacher is WAY unorganized. Punch!!! PUNCH!!! PUNCH!!!!!θ( ﾟДﾟ)＝θ☆
Then German class... I sat next to crystal boy. We were chatting and giggling alot as usual. Though I feel... Oh this might seem rude but recently I feel he keeps making passive agressive remarks. But maybe I'm just a bit too sensitive. I'll try to talk to him about it!
The break was somehow fun... I gave funky boy some of my cheese bread and he was very happy about it so that made me happylucky!꒰•́ॢ৺•̀ॢ๑͒꒱ I love giving people food recently, they always seem happy about it. I also got to talk more to ghost girl again. She wore a very pretty ribbon choker around her neck today. I drew her during class too and she was really happy about it! Happylucky!⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃ I remember last school year we watched the movie Marie Antoinette with Kirsten Dunst and ghost girl and me were always talking about how pretty the choker of Marie Antoinette was. So today I got reminded of that.
Then I was supposed to have two periods of English class. Crystal boy and me were chatting about something funny when suddenly... Big shock!!!((((；゜Д゜))) Doll boy came stumbling in the room. I was surprised, since I hadn't seen him for over a week. I was too scared to say anything to him, because I fear he's still mad at me. I hate how I keep thinking about him. He's been appearing in my dreams even?!!! He also hasn't kept our two promises... Then I talked a bit with mermaid girl and fairy girl. It was funny! Recently fairy girl and me talk alot about manifestation and the sorts...!
The teacher didn't come so we were basically done with the day. I chatted a bit with fairy girl outside and it made me really happy. I feel like when we talk I can always open up easily to her! Once she left I was talking with tree boy, doll boy and some others. Well, I wasn't really talking. Mostly listening. After a while I left and doll boy said goodbye to me. I don't get him. Also, I really want to make up with tree boy. I feel like I need to work on becoming kinder again.
On the way to the tram station I waited for a long time. I didn't want to ride the tram alone. Sunny boy and his brother walked towards me. They noticed my fingers were completly red from the cold. I really like the two of them, especially sunny boy. They are always really kind and make me happylucky! However sometimes I'm scared of talking to them...
In the end I had to go on the tram alone. And of course a drunk man was there too. One time he got really close and hit a chair next to me. I got kind of scared... I hate this.
By the way, by the way! I won an auction for a Candy Candy bag today!(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ It seems silly but I love the anime Candy Candy alot. It's from the 70's and it's about an orphaned girl called Candy and her life, from childhood to adulthood. She's a very inspiring character to me. Everytime I'm sad or feel like I am breaking down I'm thinking... What would Candy do! Because in the show, no matter how hard her situation may be she always smiles and cares for others.. I want to become a person like that.
Then at home I played dress up with my dolls a bit. I texted cigarette boy but... Oh sometimes i feel he only responds to my messages to be nice. I will try to text him less from now on as to not bother him.
Then I tried doing my photography assignment but... It's just so hard!!! I almost cried. In the end I just decided to stop for today. I liked the constellation but I feel others put in much more energy into their works. I want to do my best!
My father mentioned how bad my skin is today... That made me sad. I try so hard to have good skin and lose weight but it just doesn't work. I hate when my father points out things about my appearance. Punch! Punch! PUNCH!!!!!!!!
I was supposed to do maths homework too... but I'm too lazy...?! Ahh... I wish I had more energy.
That's it for today! Sorry it was kind of sad... Bye bean!!!✲ﾟ｡.(✿╹◡╹)ﾉ☆.｡₀:*ﾟ✲ﾟ*:₀｡ Have a happylucky day.
Good evening together! How are you today? I'm happylucky as always!!❀.(*´◡`*)❀.
Hmm... Today was kinda. Eh?!!?!?!?!... I don't know how to describe it, sorry!!!!
By the way, by the way... yesterday I dropped my mask on the way to the tram station and when I went to pick it back up this random man just... STEPPED ON IT?!?! Like girl... I was lowkey mad.∑(;°Д°) There was so much space on the path and he just stepped directly on my mask.
Today was kind of just really relaxed!!! When I woke up I wanted to try wearing a ponytail but I couldn't bring up the courage to try something different like that... One day!
My father drove me to school. In front of the school I talked to fairy girl a bit. She shared something very happylucky with me so that made my morning happylucky!!!‧˚₊*̥꒰❃•̤ॢ꒩•̤ॢ꒱‧˚₊*̥
Recently I'm thinking it's really become autumn right?!! The leaves are falling... It makes me want to listen to Kawai Sonoko's 'Ochiba no Crescendo' more and more!
First period was history class. We got our exams back... Mine was... Okay I guess!!! Not bad but not good unfortunately. Crystal boy had an amazing grade as always. He's so good at studying and expressing himself through words!!!o(*^▽^*)o I'm envious!!!
Then our history teacher randomly made us go to the school roof for no real reason. It was kinda funny!!! I chatted with crystal boy and sunshine girl.
Afterwards we had like an information event. It was really frustrating... The teachers basically ruined our whole plans and set up new rules for a project that just don't make sense!!! Punch!!! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!(ง’̀-‘́)ง I hate this!!! Forest girl and I got really mad. Sunshine girl, crystal boy and me dared forest girl to scream out loud out of frustration and said we'd give her some money and a cookie if she did but in the end she lowkey chickened out... However the both of us did scream on the school grounds later! Though it wasn't very good... We messed up the timing!
Then we talked a bit to our classmates. Suddenly a girl from our year helped tree boy to shave his head?! It was really an amusing scene. Some people took photos too. I did as well but tree boy specifically told me not to. Ah... Just when I thought we were starting to get along better again! Oh well! I'll just keep trying to be kind to him.
Then forest girl and me went to earth girl, color girl and another girl from our class. I'm going to call her ghost girl because that's one of her captions on her instagram account! She's way fashionable and strong willed, I've admired her since day one. However today I saw her crying for the first time. It was a sad sight, and I felt frustrated I couldn't help. I hope she can overcome whatever is going on soon!
So the five of us were just talking about how much one of our teachers was frustrating us.
Then forest girl and me walked to the tram station. On that way something outrageous happened?!?!?! A group of young men sneezed on us on purpose and then laughed at us. I was really upset. How could someone be so... just like this?! Punch!!! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!｡･+ﾟﾟ(うд´｡)ﾟﾟ+･｡
The tram ride with forest girl was fun. I felt like I'm finally able to talk to her more freely!
At home I was so tired... I looked up some old dolls on ebay. Recently I'm really interested in celluloid and also composition dolls! So I'm thinking of ordering some... Some have really really cute clothes with lace and everything too! Oh how I wish I had just a bit more money so I could buy all the silly things I desire. Actually I'm quite spoiled and already get alot.
That's it for today! Happylucky good night and sweet dreams! Bye bean!!!
Hello hello hellooooo!!!!!ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪ How are you today?
I'm happylucky!!!
Today I could sleep in....꒰ϱ﹏-๑꒱‧*Zz｡ I only had 2 periods!!! My parents were already out when I got ready for school so I secretly took some of my mother's mascara and applied it. It made me feel so very happylucky!!!:: ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ :: I only applied very little, so no one noticed, thank God!
On my way to school I saw cigarette boy. He's always so kind to me! I talked to him about a certain person that has been getting on my nerves and talking to him about it made me calm down.
Then I went to my classroom. Once crystal boy came in we immediately started talking about various topics. Then fairy girl came to us! I was excited to talk to her, because she is currently working on making her own neocities site! I think it'd be so fun to learn about coding with someone else from my class! Well... We are actually having HTML classes now in school but I feel like they won't be that much fun?! Maybe I'm just overthinking...
In German class we watched a movie. Woyzeck from 1979. I'm not sure what to think of it. Me and crystal boy were constantly laughing about it and the silly situations that happened in it. My favorite scenes were the murder and burial scene. I really liked the music in those.
Then the day was basically already over?! Big shock!!!!!!∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃) Crystal boy, fairy girl and I walked outside, then we said goodbye to fairy girl. Crystal boy and me saw sunshine girl who had just arrived to school! We discussed many things about school work. Recently it's really stressful!!! And the teachers are so unorganized, it's annoying. Punch!!! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!★o(･д´･+)９”
Then crystal boy followed me a bit to the tram station. We chatted alot and it was funny. On the way we also encountered funky boy and purple girl and also color girl.
Once I was home I was alone so I sung karaoke and danced for an hour or so... Agnes Chan, Kawai Sonoko, etc.! It was fun but after a while I got nauseous and almost threw up.
My parents were grocery shopping and also bought me food from McDonald's. That made me happylucky! But I'm also scared of gaining too much weight. I have to be careful!
That's it for today... Sorry! Today wasn't really eventful... Au revoir for now!(･ω´-ゞ)^☆
Happylucky hello!!!!!!(〃･ω･)ﾉ~☆･ﾟ+｡*ﾟ･.+
Sorry for not updating my blog in a while... I was kinda stressed. I'll just recap the most important things and then talk about my day!
Sooo... Oh my, a lot of things actually happened. Before autumn break there was one more strike of public transport. My father agreed to take forest girl and doll boy to school. But obviously doll boy never showed up. It made me a bit mad. Especially since we were supposed to present something in class that day. Punch!!! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!｡ﾟ+.*(+･｀ω･)９ At least I could talk about my frustrations with forest girl.
After that event we had autumn break. It wasn't that relaxing though... I wanted to meet up with fairy girl during that time but it didn't work out unfortunately!!(੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु I hope we can meet up someday!
Now I've been in school again for 2 weeks and... oh, it has been really weird. We have one assignment in our design class that has been stressing me out like SO much!!!(つ﹏˂̣̣̥)･ﾟ｡ I feel it's way too personal?! And everyone is having such great ideas... Oh well!!! It's just an assignment.
People I like talking to recently are funky boy, fairy girl... Actually there was some tension between me and purple girl but I feel we resolved our conflict so I'm happylucky about that!!! Recently I've also been texting this guy everyday, he was in my year before but now he has to repeat a grade. He's a bit short and thin but he is one of the oldest students I believe. And he likes saying perverted things I think! But he's cute like a little kid so it's ok! On his instagram account he often reshares posts revolving around cigarettes and edgy imagery. Let's call him... cigarette boy!!!(-。-)y-゜゜ Because that's what I associate with him. I'm sorry!!!
I've also been talking to crystal boy alot during classes.
Recently I've been having some worries... My grades are kind of slipping and I'm having trouble concentrating. And I feel like I'm being ruder and ruder everyday and am losing friends as a consequence. Punch!!! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!!θ( ﾟДﾟ)＝θ☆ That kind of feeling... Actually, I've been thinking I want to have cute clothes, I want to try make-up, I want to try new hairstyles... But no courage. Oh well!!! One day I can do everything I want. Recently I tried shaving my arms but my father walked in on me and I cut myself badly. It's still not fully healed.
Now I'm gonna talk about doll boy. Likeee... Alot kinda happened?!?!
He texted me every few days and in school he was kind to me... I joked that we are best friends but after a while I really felt we could become good friends!!! One day I found his lost sketchbook in a room and took it home, then returned it to him the next day. He was so grateful it made me so happylucky!!! In that moment I felt we were friends. But... Oh well. I think he dislikes me now.
I gave him a paper doll and he gave me a cute rilakkuma notebook. He wanted to give me a hello kitty bag too but decide he wanted to use it for drugs instead, which was really funny in my opinion. One day I was wearing a side part, because I usually wear middle part. He told me middle part looks better on me... In class we worked on a quiz together with crystal boy and another girl. It was fun but he said weird things. After school we decided we'd take the same tram home. He went to the shop first to buy some bread, then we returned to the school for a bit and both ate. We talked about things, but he always seems so cold after school. During our walk to the station he was upset at me because I pulled him down the stairs earlier that day. He said he could really scare me now. I apologized. He started talking about suicide, arson, breaking people's bones. It made me quite sad. On the ride we didn't talk much either. Then we got out of the tram. He told me something odd, then hugged me and said we should do something together tomorrow. But I was tired. He hasn't come to school since. One of my friends told me he said shocking things about me and my other classmate. When I heard what he said about me it made me cry. Yesterday he sent me an image saying he was 'pissed' at me. I'm confused as to why. I really hope I didn't do anything to hurt his feelings... I hate this!!! I wish I could get him out of my mind!! Punch!!! Punch!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!★o(･д´･+)９” Actually his girlfriend started interacting with my instagram account and she's really kind. I want to talk to her sometime but I haven't seen her around recently.
Now about more happylucky things...!!!! There's this girl in the year below me who's really sweet! I will call her sugar girl, because her online handle includes the word sugar. She seems so kind! I drew her too.
My day today was actually really happylucky and fun!!! First I was supposed to have two periods of painting class but the teacher forgot to tell us that it wouldn't take place... Rude!!!!( >д˂̣̣̥) So I just sat on the floor with two of my classmates. One of them is a girl, she likes studying Chinese and Japanese. She is a bit more reserved but she has really pretty hair which she wears in a braid. It reminds me of a mermaid! So I'll call her mermaid girl. The other one is a boy, he's so kind. He's softspoken but has a really unique sense of aesthetics I feel. Anyways, he gives me 'warm' vibes, if that makes sense! Like a sunny picnic? So I will call him sunny boy.☀
So we just sat there and chatted about the elections that are going on in the US right now. It's quite an exciting topic... But the sun was so warm and bright I almost fell asleep at times?! Sunny boy played on his DS and the quiet music made me even sleepier...
During one of the breaks I took a selfie with fairy girl and cigarette boy. It made me happylucky because I barely have photos of myself with my friends! I want to take alot of photos and videos recently!
The way home was the most fun... I was walking with earth girl, forest girl and color girl. They all sung like in a choir! It was so fun and relaxing and it just spread so many positive vibes. I even filmed their singing! I wish I had the courage to sing too... One day! Lalalalalaaaaaaa~~~!!!♪♪(o*゜∇゜)o～♪♪ Just like that.
Now I will talk about things that make me happylucky outside of school... Recently I got these three sweet porcelain doll heads. They're just too cute!!!!! Maybe I will use them for crafts... What do you think?
Another thing that has been making me happy is Agnes Chan's music!!! It's been helping me relax from my thoughts so much...! Happylucky time! Like that!!
That's it for today... Sorry it's so long!!! Bye bean my friends!!!.:*･✿ ✿.｡.:*･ヾ(Ő‿Ő✿)
Hello! Sorry for not updating in such a long time.
I am so stressed with school. I lost xkg from stress!!
Yesterday there was a strike with the public transport systems, so my father had to drive me to school. We picked up forest girl too.
Today was tiring... We had a maths exam! I was so nervous.
Next was biology class... We had a long discussion. I touched the hand of doll boy, it was so cute. He showed us the music he made.
Then during break I had a chat with fairy girl. It was fun! I really do love talking to her alot. I hope we can hang out sometime!
Then I hugged doll boy and said bye to him, because he had one period less than me. I told him some things. Then I hugged him again. Somehow I feel scared that he'll disappear any moment.
History class was fun!!! We are supposed to do projects in a certain time frame. Crystal boy suggested I should make a project on dolls, their evolution, and use! It was exciting.
On the way home I talked to earth girl, color girl, and funky boy. We had a lot of discussions. It was quite tiring on the head. I like talking with funky boy, I hope we can become even better friends!
At home I texted doll boy about his music. He read my messages but didn't reply. That made me a bit sad. I sometimes fear that he doesn't like me.
That's all for today! Happylucky good night!!!
It was my birthday! I'm finally 16!
I woke up at 6AM like usual and my parents sung for me and made me breakfast. But I was out of time!!! I asked my father to drive me to school.
At school alot of people congratulated me! I was happylucky about it!
In maths class my class sung for me! Yay...
During break blue girl gave me a note for my birthday. It was so sweet! I almost cried because I was so happy. Forest girl also sent me a long but lovely voice message that made me very happy. And alot of people texted me congratulatory paragraphs! I was overjoyed! It's always nice to see when people think about me...
During biology class we had group work... I'm in a group with forest girl, doll boy and another girl. Doll boy is really stressing me out. Sometimes I get mad because I feel like he didn't do much work for the group thing so far but oh well, we still have some time left. I hope it all works out neatly in the end!
My history teacher congratulated me too! He's so funny. He remembered our horse girl inside joke!
The way home I skipped a bit, I was happylucky after all!
My parents ordered my favorite food for me too, yay!!!
Hello! Today is my last day of being 15... I'm excited!
By the way, I forgot to mention, but as I walked through the city with mystic girl yesterday a beggar called after mean calling me 'Locke', which means curl. My curls are my trademark! Just kidding... But yeah it was kinda scary.
First two periods were maths but without a teacher... The test is so soon I'm scared I wont't learn enough. I talked alot with funky boy and the horsegirl squad. The horsegirl squad was discussing our big school project. We decided to make an art film! So exciting...
Funky boy said he liked my drawing of myself... Fun!
Then we had three periods of design class. It was tiring!!! I worked so hard to meet the deadline of my project and then he extended it by one period. I was a bit upset...
Then outside I saw doll boy looking sad. Imp girl was talking to him. I was worried. I told him I was worried but he told me to go away. I went away but I felt kind of sad. It's probably because I'm being so mean to everyone recently... I'm trying hard to better myself though. I want to be as kind and trustworthy as imp girl someday!
Then on the tram I chatted a bit with some girls a year below me. I knew two of them. Most of them were still older than me, it's really funny.
I didn't want to go home directly so I took a walk around some gardens and filmed a bit. At home my parents were worried. It was my first time going out alone like this and I didn't even tell them. They've been worried about me for a few days and tried getting details out of me but I didn't want to say anything.
Then I edited the footage I filmed and made a short video for instagram from it. I really love how it turned out! Then I made a zine about only being 15 for 5 more hours. It was fun! If you want to see both these projectes DM me on @heartiel on instagram.
I turn 16 in an hour!!! I'm so nervous. Everyone, good night.
Hello. Today was a normal monday!!!
Forest girl was absent today... I'm a bit worried but she's just sick apparently. Then I told funky boy I want to apologize to purple girl because I talked behind her back. I hope I can do it this week!
During break doll boy showed everyone that he had weed. He seemed proud of it. I'm against drugs. But he seemed so happy. I took a photo of him being happy. I've never seen him that happy.
During German class crystal boy and I were very excited. We had no reason but we just kept on squealing and giggling. It was fun! I feel like we can laugh about alot of things.
The last 4 periods weren't gonna take place so I went to the tram station with a girl from my year. She's a bit quiet but funny. I'll call her mystic girl! Because I feel like if she was a doll there'd be mystic in her name... We talked alot and then went to the city centre and took a small walk. Then we walked to the bus station. I saw three of my old classmates. They were nice! One of them wore pretty eyeliner and a pretty jacket. They called me by an old nickname I don't really like but I didn't want to make a scene about it so I just went along.
At home my parents were worried about me. My mother says I need to contact my therapist again. But I don't want to.
I drew a bit and wrote a bit and posted on instagram! Fun... Now I'm tired.
Good night!
Hello! Sorry this entry is kinda late... I was too tired yesterday.
First two periods were history, nothing happened.
Then we had two periods where the teachers explained to us what we should do for our internships since we have to do them soon! I'm nervous...
During break I talked a bit with funky boy, color girl, earth girl and purple girl. At one point funky boy picked me up and I got a bit scared! But it was kind of funny...
Then I sat next to doll boy and another girl, I'm going to call her imp girl because she's really cute and acts in a fun way but sometimes says devilish things! She always carries around a teddy bear and has cool hair... She always wears pretty make up!!!
Imp girl and I talked about some drama going on in our class. It was really good to let my feelings out. And I was glad she understood what I was talking about. I hope we can become friends soon! That'd be happylucky!
Then I asked doll boy to hug me, because he texted me that he'd do it but he never did. When he hugged me I felt very happylucky!
Last was biology class. I sat next to forest girl. She told me about an idea for a school project, a horse girl diary! It was fun discussing about what we could do. Then we passed notes acting like our horsegirl characters. I'm Lena and she's Elsa. We passed a note to doll boy, aka Jenny and asked him if he wanted to join the squad. He said yes and told me he'd send an audition but he never did... Sad...
After school on the way to my tram I saw two guys from my class. I'll call one of them tree boy. The other one is his boyfriend. I told tree boy that it was sad that we weren't really talking anymore, but he didn't agree and said that it was uncool how rude and insulting I am to people recently. Actually I agree with him, so I'm not mad. I need to better myself!
Then was on the tram with earth girl and her friend whom I didn't know...!
That was my day!
Hello!!! (*´∀｀*)ﾉ｡+ﾟ *｡ How are you?
Today was just an ordinary day...
By the way, I forgot to mention! Yesterday after school funky boy tackled me as a joke outside and a teacher shouted at him! It was quite odd? We were all laughing after all.
Anyway, on the way to school I walked with earth girl and another girl. I'm going to call her blue girl! The reason being that to me, she really has this like blue aura around her. I really admire her! She's like an angel?! Her personality is fun, she is kind to everyone. Her style is so good! And I just really think she's a special person? She has main character vibes!!! If she was an animal she'd be a dolphin or a bird...
On the way I saw an old classmate and he greeted me! He seemed kind! Yay!
First two periods were Spanish class... So tiring. I only have languages on thursdays!!!!
Then during break I knew the next class would take place outside... I asked doll boy where we had to go and he led me around the whole school building telling me weird things before we realized we are supposed to be somewhere else?! When we came back I saw the horsegirl squad and ran to them... We discussed about doll boy and joked about him being the sixth horse girl! Then we all went to the outside German class! Our teacher made us read a script like a play. It was actually kind of fun, even though I only had to say one paragraph! But I put my all into it!
Then... English class!!! We watched a movie... '12 years a slave'. It was really hard to watch. During some scenes I had to cover my eyes. But I think it's important to watch those kinds of movies!
Then after school I sat down on a bench for a while... One by one people from my year sat down in that area too so I slowly went home... I didn't want to go home. I always feel sad at home recently.
After a while doll boy caught up to me and started talking with me. I tried talking with him too but I feel like I annoyed him? I don't know anymore! I felt like the ride home with him was very weird.
At home I was sad. So I asked my mother if we could go on a car ride and explore a bit. We did just that and drove to the countryside and took a long walk! It was so beautiful... The air was so clean, the animals so pretty! And the sunset was just perfect. I want to explore these kinds of areas more often!!!! That's it for today, bye bean!!!
Hello hello hello!!!! o(*’▽’*)/☆ﾟ’ Yesterday's entry was kinda sad but... I'll try to make this one ultra happylucky!!! Yay!!!!!!!( ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
First we had some sort of art class. The teacher didn't have a room for us, it was all very messy. We just watched a movie!!
Next was maths... I didn't manage to photograph the rest of the Sanrio graffiti unfortunately... （´＿｀）
During the break I told funky boy I had a dream about him. I want to become even better friends with him! (≧∇≦*)
Afterwards biology! It was hard on my head...
Last was history! My head was spinning.......... I need rest.
During the tram ride home I sat with color girl, earth girl and funky boy. It was fun!!! It is a rare constellation I usually don't talk in. Unfortunately earth girl seemed quite stressed. I think it had something to do with the demonstration against climate change she always advocates for. (;´Д`)
Tomorrow I want to talk to funky boy again. He's so funny. Even though we are really different I feel like we can be honest with each other and our personalities somehow match! I like teasing him, his reactions are always fun. (๑>◡<๑)
At home I watched a few episodes of Kodomo no Omocha! (ノ＞▽＜。)ノ It's such a cute and fun show. Then I saw my parcel has departed from Japan!!! I'm so excited to receive it. Hopefully this week. By the way, today Iwai Sayuri's song has been stuck in my head all day!!
I want to start collecting records... But I need a record player first! I wonder if there's pink ones? Sayuri's songs always make me want to dance dance dance!!! I want to be an idol!!! Fun!! Singing, dancing, performing!!!
After that I imagined myself in all types of cute clothes... Frills and lace are so pretty. If I got to wear cute clothes one day I'd die from happylucky energy!!!!!!
Eh? Somehow I forgot something today... I neglected my studies all day long?!!! Oh no...
Well, that was it for today! Bye bean!!!
Happylucky hello!!! ~(＾◇^)/
Today I only had two subjects but the day was still quite exciting...
In maths class I was shocked!! There was sanrio graffiti on the desks and walls. My Melody, Kuromi, Hello Kitty...! It was so cute. Sanrio is really popular recently. I only managed to take a photo of Kuromi but I'll try photographing the other ones tomorrow! Our maths teacher was really kind and considerate today! That made me happy!
Then... 3 periods of design class. It was SO tiring... Like WAY tiring... 3 periods of just gathering information. I thought I'd die.
I talked with sunshine girl a bit. I really loved her outfit today. A red crop top with a black jacket and black high waisted pants. She also wore a necklace with the letters of her name as charms. I also loved fairy girls outfit today. It was a ruffly black top and a white jacket with a skirt and ripped thights I think!
After school ended I talked with some of my classmates. I told doll boy what I dreamt about him. On the way to the tram station we finally got to talk more. I told him I was mad at him because he was talking with funky boy but that was obviously a lie. I was mad at him for other reasons though. Like the way he doesn't think about himself enough. Punch!! PUNCH!!!! PUNCH!!!!!!!!! Actually I wish I wasn't so rude. But recently I can't help it. People say they like it when I'm direct. But maybe I'm too direct recently? Otherwise talking to him was fun... I want to be his friend again I think. I think I'm not mad anymore. Suddenly he went like 'あつい〜!' and I had to laugh once I understood it. What a funny person. Maybe we can learn Japanese together. I wonder what level he's on. N5? N4? I told him about the horsegirl squad and he said his horsegirl name would be Jenny. I told him my horsegirl name is Lena and he asked me if he should call me that. It was very sweet of him I thought! I hope one day I can be called by a name that makes me happylucky! Anyways doll boy was cute as always today. He cut his hair. But god, I wish I could see him in clothes with lace. I'd die. His presence is quite soothing!
At home I fell asleep. I was very sad.
Trigger warning, self harm I guess.
I went to take a bath. I didn't like looking at my body. I hate it. What am I going to do? I scratched open the skin on my chest and arms till it bled. I need to stop doing this.
That was my day! Thank you for reading.
Hello-o-o-ooo! ヾ(*･ω･*)o
Today was a very exciting and fun day!!!
In the tram I think I saw a girl I saw on tiktok before... (≧艸≦*)
First we were supposed to have three periods of economics class... But the teacher failed to inform us that it wouldn't take place?! I was furious!!! Punch!! PUNCH!! PUNCH!!!!!! (((c=(ﾟﾛﾟ;q So unprofessional...
So we, the horsegirl squad went to the nearby park. It was so much fun! First we went on this thing... crystal boy and sunshine girl spun on it! It was so funny, we couldn't stop laughing. Then forest girl and I went on it too. I screamed so much, I was quite scared actually. But afterwards I realized how it was actually kinda fun! Then we wrote horsegirl squad in the sand next to the sea. Afterwards forest girl kept pestering us that we should just scream all together. At first we were all embarassed but then we decided to scream on the count of three. Actually it was quite freeing! AAAAA!!! ヾ(｀◇´)ﾉ彡 Like that... Then we walked a bit further and had a little photoshooting. We did all sorts of funny poses! In the end we took like 50 photos!
Then we walked back to the school building. I talked to color girl and another girl. I'm going to call her earth girl because she is very engaged in preventing global warming and always goes to demonstrations and the sorts too. Through them I found out one of my classmates was in the hospital?!?! For the second time too... I'm quite worried now.
Then... German class. There were a few people I was dreading to see. But everything turned out OK. Happylucky, like that!
English class was exhausting... I actually had enough courage to read the text I wrote though. Then something unexpected happened which made my happylucky levels go up by at least 10%!!!
Last was spanish class... My energy was almost completly used up.
On the way to the tram station I talked with funky boy and color girl. Ah, before that I finally told a guy how I feel... really upset!!! Because I didn't know how to treat him and he didn't respond to my messages. I'm gonna call him battle boy because he does martial arts... I also apologized for trying to trip him last week. Sometimes I can't control myself, I hate that.
In the tram I saw a girl who's a year below me. We used to go to the same school, I'll call her squid girl because she likes playing a videogame that has squids. She's actually really funny! But I was a bit frustrated because when I tried talking to her she only looked at her phone... I don't know.
Anyways, I felt with that schoolday I finally overcame a bit thought battle I had with myself for the last three days! Yay!
Recently I watched the movie Magical Girl. It was quite interesting. I could relate to the character of Alicia a bit. Obviously I'm not terminally ill or anything but I've been battling with various chronic illnesses and other health related issues since I was born. The way she danced to the 80's J-pop song in front of the mirror, and the way she wanted the magical girl outfit... I don't know. Those feelings are all so familiar to me...
I also continued reading The Secret Garden! And I started watching the anime based on it. It's quite entertaining...
That's it for this blog! Thank you for reading and bye bean!!! (*・ｪ･*)ﾉ
Hello everyone, good day, hello, hello.
Today was just... way too exhausting! I don't want to be negative but it was really hard.
There were three people I didn't want to see today, luckily I only saw one of them.
During break I had a good talk with my friend. I'll call her fairy girl, because she's always so kind and bubbly! And stylish too. And she uses the fairy emoji sometimes! We can bond over alot of things too. Talking to her always makes me feel happylucky because she's so understanding and always listens to me. I hope we can become better friends in the future!
There was a boy I wanted to give chocolate to because he seemed sad yesterday but he didn't show up where I told him to be to get the chocolate... I was sad about that.
By the way, sunshine girl had really pretty make up today! It really suited her. And forest girl clipped her hair away for a bangs style look, it was way cute!!!
The next break I had a good talk with funky boy. Even though we're so different in personalities and interests I feel like we can talk in a fun and relaxed way. He called me cute! It made happy. I told him about a recent event that distressed me, but couldn't talk about. He gave me good advice, I'm very thankful for that.
In biology class I found a pink brush pen on the floor so I took it with me! Pink is my lucky color!
Then I got on the tram with forest girl and color girl! We were just chatting. After color girl left the tram we noticed a wasp in the tram. A young woman next to us stood up out of fear. I gestured to her that there was a free seat next to ours.
When the wasp came to us I got scared. Forest girl thought it was silly of me. It was kinda funny! The young woman said she could relate to being scared. After she left the tram she even said goodbye to us, she seemed really kind.
When forest girl left the I sat next to another girl from my year. I'm gonna call her... lemon girl! Because she's really kind but also quite sarcastic. I feel like I can talk about alot of things regarding our yearmates with her. We talked about a certain person. I was so distressed after a while so I just told her about the recent event I mentioned earlier while talking with funky boy. She seems to have been on my side? I felt a little less scared after that event. It was a relief!
After school I just went on a car drive with my father. Now I'm tired... Good night and sweet dreams.
Hello! Another day, another blog post.
Today I was... very overwhelmed. I had lots of classes. Only languages though.
In Spanish class I said alot of things. I hope I can better my grade! In German class... I was so SO mad at my teacher! Punch! Punch! PUNCH!!! He was really rude, really really rude. I don't know. His remarks just seemed mean. In German and English class I mostly talked with crystal boy. It was fun! I feel like we are slowly becoming better friends, which I'm very happylucky about! Actually English class was so exhausting... After it I still wanted to talk to my classmates but I was too tired so I just went home.
At home I danced and sung to Itou Tsukasa's song 'Shoujo Ningyou'. I had alot of fun singing again! By the way... I'm worried I got in a fight with my classmate today. I said alot of mean things to her. I don't know. I'm worried I'm too direct recently.
I went to take a shower. I was very much lost in my thoughts, so I accidentally hurt myself. I wonder... Am I too sensitive? I was mad at someone so I cried in the shower a bit. I'm bad at expressing my anger.
Then I just texted some friends! It was nice to just tell them what's on my mind, my worries, the things that make me happy, things I want to change!
I also started reading a book! The Secret Garden. So far it's quite the fun read. I want to read more! Do you have a favorite book?
That's it for this entry! Charge your happylucky energy!!! Bye bean!!!
Good evening! （○｀ω´）ゞ How are you?
Today the first two periods were uneventful...
Then we had self study during maths class again. Once again I sat with the horsegirl squad! It was alot of fun. We were chatting and snacking on speculoos biscuits sunshine girl brought with her. Me and forest girl talked about movies. I told her about 'Marie-poupée' and she told me about 'The lobster'. It was fun! I want to see more movies... I laughed alot during that class! ꉂ ૮( ᵒ̌ૢꇴᵒ̌ૢ )ა｡*ﾟ✧ For example we talked about who crystal boys eventual boyfriend could be.
Then while me and forest girl were waiting for biology class to start, doll boy came up to me and told me to hug him and that he was fond of me. He's quite direct don't you think? I hugged him but I wonder if it was selfish because of the virus... Though recently I want to hug my friends more often! It's a dilemma. Doll boy also tried making contact with me two other times but he's so... intimidating in a way. Not that I'm scared of him, he's just really fascinating! I hope I didn't come off as too cold? I wonder if we can become friends!
Then we had one period of history class. In the beginning our horse girl squad was laughing alot, but I forgot about what? I want to laugh more! (ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖ Happylucky power!!!
On the tram ride home a drunk man stood next to me for a few stops. Recently my luck in the trams is so bad...
Recently I'm really into France Gall's music!! I especially like the song 'Polichinelle'. If you haven't noticed yet, I like everything related to dolls and puppets.
given to me recently by a friend
In his beautiful lace dress
he sits on my bed
But one day my puppet
turned into a tall boy...♪
Isn't it a lovely song?
I'd love to have a puppet like that... ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
That's it for today, bye bean!!! (＾◇＾）ノ
Hello everyone!!! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆
Today I could sleep in...(－.－)...zzz Or so I thought?!
Even though I had to go to school later than usual I instinctively woke up around the usual time... But at least I could eat a good breakfast because of that!
On my way to school I saw funky boy and another girl from my class, I'll call her purple girl because I associate her with that color! Anyways, I think they're dating? On the way we found out our maths teacher was sick and we were supposed to do self study. At school we didn't work at all! All of us were just chatting. Tomorrow is self study too... I hope I can understand the topic.
Then we finally had design class. I was so excited! After some time sunshine girl switched to my design class too. I get along with her most in my school so I was really happy about that! ٩(๑･ิᴗ･ิ)۶٩(･ิᴗ･ิ๑)۶ The teacher wanted to show us a music video that's popular recently. He asked if anyone was under sixteen because the video was suppposedly quite revealing and I raised my hand. It was quite funny to me! I'm the only fifteen year old in my year. Actually I'm the youngest in my entire year too.
He let me watch the video anyways.
After school I sat in the tram. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to run away from home go on an adventure! So I went three stops further than the one I usually get off on. However I got a bit scared. There were drunk people at the stop. So I quickly took another tram to my usual stop. There I walked around the neighbourhood a bit and ate some of my bread. I still didn't want to go home but I had nowhere else to go so I just went home...
At home my parents and I fought. I threw down something from the kitchen table out of anger as they were arguing. Then I ran to my room. I just heard banging.
But now everything is fine and happylucky! That's it for this blog, bye bean!
Hello everyone! (∪｡∪)｡｡｡zzZ
Today was like... way normal! Too normal!!! Punch! Punch!! PUNCH!!!(งಠ_ಠ)ง
First we had economics class... Boring... The teacher reminds me of my old physics teacher(who was really sketchy!!).
During break I talked with the horsegirl squad(I'll have to make a post explaining the horsegirl squad). It consists of the boy who wears fancy crystal jewelry whom I mentioned in a previous blog, let's call him crystal boy, a girl that seems very nature oriented and loves bullet journaling, let's call her forest girl, another girl who's quite normal in her hobbies and not as out there as the rest of us, but she has the sweetest and funniest personality, so I'm gonna call her sunshine girl, and of course, me!
Forest girl was telling us a story about her shared flat. Apparently one of her flatmates brought a cat into the flat against the rules?!?! We are all laughing so much when she told us the story because it was funny but... It was also really sad... I hope the cat is okay now. =＾● ⋏ ●＾=
After economics we waited for German class. The teacher was late!!! While waiting me and three of my classmates tried manifesting Spanish class to not take place later.٩̋(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)
In German class I sat next to crystal boy. After German class we had English class and I sat next to crystal boy again. We were laughing alot and did all the tasks together. In English class doll boy was saying alot of crazy things when the teacher picked him to say something so she got annoyed really quick! One time she asked if anyone had something to say and doll boy raised his hand but she just ignored him... I felt kind of bad for him!
Last up was Spanish class. I sat next to sunshine girl. We laughed alot doing the tasks together, I was happy about that because I felt that recently we weren't talking as much as usual anymore!
After Spanish class I went to the tram station with two of my classmates. The tall funny one from two blogs earlier, let's call him funky boy because of his bright personality, and a girl who always has very cool dyed and styled hair, let's call her color girl! Because she's so colorful. Anyways, on the way I enjoyed teasing funky boy. His reactions are always so funny. Is it bad that I like teasing people sometimes?
In the tram I sat next to two people from my year, but we didn't talk a whole lot.
At home I fell asleep. My mother got me sweets from the grocery store so I was happylucky! ｟❛◡❛ॣॣ｠*.･｡╟╢ᎯƤƤᎽ*.･｡
Then I did maths homework and... that was my day!!! Sorry if it was boring...
Hello! Finally it's the weekend! (≧▽≦)/
Today wasn't really eventful. Actually, I don't really have a life outside of school!
This morning i was a bit sad. I need to get in contact with my therapist again. (๑•́₋•̩̥̀๑)
I was resting for most of the day. Suddenly the doorbell rang?! I got a bit nervous so I didn't answer it... I need to improve on those everyday tasks. My mother was asleep and my father was out. When I looked if the mail lady left anything there was a paper. My mother woke up and looked at it. It was apparently something really important?! My father came back and then he and my mother chased down the mail lady. When they came back I was really surprised... It was a parcel I'd been waiting for for some time!!! I set it aside for a while...
Then my mother started playing her music. I knew I wasn't gonna get any time to myself today and the music hurt my head. I cried a bit because I actually wanted to film an unboxing video for my parcel but couldn't. (｡•́-ก̀｡/)
So I just opened the parcel anyways!! I got three things... A backpack from the 70's magical girl show Hana no Ko Lunlun. It's for little kids so I'm not gonna be wearing it...! I plan to store cables in it. Or stuff that's too ugly to show.
The second thing I got was a Candy Candy accessory case! It's so cute... ٩(๑∂▿∂๑)۶♡ There's some sun damage but I don't mind because it adds to the items story. There's mirror with floral decorations around it inside of the case! I'm not sure what to put inside of it yet... Any ideas?
The third thing I got was a 8cm CD from 90's indie pop idol Mizuno Aoi! Recently I'm really obsessed with her. She was well known for her fashion style, she wore alot of clothes that would be considered lolita fashion today. Many proto lolita brands too. I haven't listened to the CD yet because I don't have a CD player anymore but I'm gonna rip the tracks on my father's laptop later. I'm so excited to listen! There's a karaoke track too so I'm looking forward to dancing and singing. ♪✺◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞✺♪ I showed my father the CD and he said Aoi is cute... He said maybe one day I will have a Japanese wife... When will he stop denying that I'm into guys?! It makes me mad... This is Aoi's song by the way! Isn't it cute?
Then I bid on a Agnes Chan doll and won! I'm so excited! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
Speaking of my father, we went on a car ride. First we went to a hardware store and looked at wallpapers and cute carpets. We were talking about painting the walls in my room pink. I'm so excited!! Then we drove around to places we didn't know... It was so exciting! We went into many streets that were unknown to me, some were really really cute! Then my father got me something to eat at McDonald's. Before we noticed it it was already 7PM so we drove home.
That was my day! Thank you for reading.♡
Hello hello hellooooo!!! Another day, another post!
If I had to describe today in a word I'd say it was... bittersweet?
When I woke up I weighed myself again. It was just a little less than yesterday.
First two periods were history... I actually managed to contribute something to the class! Yay! But I was tired... I didn't sleep well, I had a funky dream.
Next we were supposed to have said course A from my previous blogs. It's actually a design class. I don't know the right word, sorry. Anyways, doll boy came up to me and said our conversation through text yesterday was good. I wanted to say something but I couldn't!! Normally I'm more open and upbeat but... he's a bit intimidating. Too cool!! Like that... I bet he's just trying to get through the school day too though, I should really stop putting people on pedestals. Anyways, as I said we were supposed to have this class but- The teacher didn't come. So many classes aren't taking place recently! It's frustrating!!! So we all went outside in front of the school to chat a bit. I mostly talked with two guys from my class. One is a tall really funny guy, he always makes me laugh. The other is a short guy who wears alot of buttons on his jacket, he's a bit shy but very kind once you get to know him a bit! There were a few other people too. I'd say we were around 5 people? We had alot of fun talking. There were alot of wasps and we were always trying to run from them...! One girl put on some music. Normally I don't like the kind of music my classmates play but this time I kind of enjoyed it? Maybe I'm going crazy!
But then... I saw something!!! I can't describe it. It looked fluffy and warm. And kind. It made me happy but sad! I cried about it later!! I don't know... I'm being silly. Silly... It made me mad to be honest. Punch! Punch! Punch! I hope I can forget it soon. I was a bit rude during the conversation too... I feel a bit bad now. I want to be kind.
Next we had one period of biology. Nothing eventful happened really.
And then... Oh wow this was a ride. We were supposed to have PE class. Last week we waited and waited, no one came. We called our homeroom teacher and she said we should leave. Well, this time... We waited... and waited... and waited...(and talked about how horrible our old school was with three of my classmates!)
No one came. Two of my classmates went to the teacher's office to inclince about the absence of our teacher.
Some people left for home already but the rest of us sat on the porch infront of the gym. We told each other funny stories. I talked with one girl and we gossiped a bit... I'm kind of in a silent fight with her friend. She told me her friend texted her, asking if she knew that I badmouthed her! Oh my... She also told me her friend told me she didn't like the way I act. But to be honest, I couldn't care any less! I always felt bad vibes from her.
We then all went to the front of the school. The two girls who inclined about the teacher came back and told us that apparently our PE teacher is on paternity leave?! And no one told us?! Our school is in such chaos... We all sat in a circle, discussed and got mad. Actually, it was quite nice. It felt really uniting? By the way, one of my friends wore the prettiest rose quartz necklace. He always wears cute and stylish jewelry.
Afterwards I went to the tram station with two girls from my class. We sat together in the tram and were chatting alot, about different school systems, our class and other topics. Is this the so called girls talk?! Just kidding!!!
At home... It was quite hard. I was very sad and had bad thoughts... But I think I'm feeling better now. I tried drawing Agnes Chan two times but both times my dirty eraser ruined it... I listened to Yukiko's album 'Cinderella' in the meantime.
Then I made some filled puff pastry! Well, the dough was premade and the filling too... I just had to put the filling in, shape it and put it in the oven. So I didn't really make it! But it tasted good!
Then I cleaned up my room a bit and photographed a dead insect I found... It looked like a pretty fairy! But I doubt anyone wants to see it. Then I had a little photosession with myself. None of the photos turned out super good some of them capture me in my natural way so I like them! Those will stay private though... Thank you for reading!
Yahoo! I want to challenge myself to blog everyday!
So today I woke up and weighed myself. I'm finally under X0KG! I'm so happy!!!
Recently there's alot of police officers in the trams... Kind of intimidating. There was a man who didn't have a ticket and got kind of agressive after the officers cornered him.
I only had two periods today but I went to school earlier than I had to- Remember how I was mad about my course? Well, I found someone to switch courses with! Someone from my year told me his classmate wanted to switch courses too. So before classes started we filled out the forms for switching and handed them in. I hope it works out!
Then I had German class. My teacher's way of talking was really off today... It made me a bit sad. Also there were a few people in the classroom that acted in a way where I couldn't really concentrate well...
I doodled this outfit in class. I needed some kind of distraction. I love coming up with cute outfits, I like to imagine them on my dolls, my classmates or myself! It's really relaxing and helps me let out my ideas. Maybe I should try sewing this one for one of my dolls? I haven't tried sewing pants yet though so I don't know if I'd manage...
After class I went to the tram station(is that a word?) with my classmate. We were chatting a bit but she constantly talked about suicide... which made me a bit sad. I really hope she'll stay safe. On the way we saw a cat! I tried taking a photo but you can't really see the cat... I think it still turned out to be a nice photo, don't you think? The abandoned traintracks always look so mysterious. Sometimes I see people walking along them, I wonder where they lead? Probably just a shortcut or something...
Once we were in the tram there were police officers again. Probably so many to keep up with corona regulations.
After the ride I walked back home and skipped along the street. Skipping is so much fun but sometimes people stare at me when I do it. I used to do it the whole way home but now I'm a bit embarassed to do that. I'll be 16 soon after all.
I rang the doorbell to my home and no one responded. I lost my key around half a year ago and still haven't gotten a replacement so I was kinda nervous. I called my father but he didn't respond. The I called my mother. They completly forgot I only had two periods! Oh well. My mother was in the office and came to let me in. My father was shopping for groceries. As I waited I saw this giant mushroom! Isn't it beautiful? I just had to take a photo.
At home I rested for a bit. Then I tried writing some lyrics. Recently I'm really into coming up with songs! But I still need to improve alot when it comes to making backing tracks...
The doll like boy I mentioned yesterday asked for my number and then sent me alot of cute photos that fit my aesthetic! I was so happy. I sent him my blog and I think it made him happy too. HappyLucky energy for everyone!
Then I started shivering and feeling really sick, so I just layed down for a bit. Afterwads I listened to Agnes Chan and France Gall. Going through France's German discography was so much fun! I noticed some of her songs wouldn't be politically correct these days so I got in a bit of a debate with myself. Is it okay to listen to these songs and enjoy them? Should I view them as a product of their time or just stop listening to them altogether? I couldn't find an answer.
It was my online friend's birthday so I made a little drawing for him. I hope he'll like it.
That was my day... Thank you for reading!♡
Hello everyone. Long time no see!
I'm excited to be blogging again.
Today was just a normal school day really. We were supposed to have a class the first two periods but our teacher failed to inform us that it would be cancelled so I had to wait for some time. In the meantime I bid on a doll on yahoo auctions.
Then we had maths class. It was WAY exhausting. But I feel like i understood what's going on so I'm grateful for that. Then we had biology class. Our new biology teacher seems really nice so far! It was a fun class. There's a guy who had to repeat a grade in it. Actually I've noticed him almost two years ago already. He's short and dresses in a fancy way, with a tie and cool chunky shoes. His hair is a bit longer and messy and he's cute like a doll. Everytime he talks it almost seems as if he's in a dream world! The other day we had an assembly and he was listening to music with his headphones. He was dancing around and eventually fell on the floor. Maybe I'm a little envious? He seems so confident. I'm definitely envious. I wish could express myself without fear.
next period was history... I almost fell asleep. And I thought of something I wanted to forget, so I felt sad too. Right after class ended however I checked the auction and-!!! I won the doll. For a super cheap price too. I was so happy!
The way home was normal. Just now I saw which course I was selected to be in and I was furious...! Basically: I put in two votes, my priority vote being for course A and the other one for course B. It turned out the course A didn't have enough people. And now I found out I'm in course B?! The mail said to give course A a chance and I wanted to... It was my priority vote!!! I'm so mad... I hope I get to switch it with someone.
That's it for this entry. See you soon!
Hello everyone! Today I had another school day. It was really fun actually.
We had three periods. Maths, German and English. We actually wrote a test in English. I think it's a bit unfair that it's only my 3rd schoolday and I've already written two tests! But oh well... Actually, I'm very happy. I saw my friends again and it was really nice to just chat and laugh freely. I missed them all very much. I decided I want to become a more open person, so I tried to smile alot! I also tried to stay positive. I wonder if they noticed? Well, I'm always a bit silly...
Once school was over my mother picked me up again. The trams are too much of a hotspot for viruses... I got a small headache in the car. When we arrived home I tried making caramel again! And I actually got the recipe right this time, it was hard like I wanted it to be! I'm so happy...
Hello everyone, welcome to my first blog post.
Today I went to school for the second time after this crisis, and I already had to write a test!
When I arrived everyone was really close to my dismay. Some people even hugged each other! But I'm glad I saw a few of my friends again.
Actually, the test wasn't that hard. Well, my friend told me what the questions would be so... it was easy
We were supposed to use a different exit than usual to leave the school. It was a really dark staircase and I was a bit scared...
My parents picked me up, but we couldn't go straight home because they helped a man fix his car because it wasn't running. Kind of them right?
When we arrived home I layed down and fell asleep for 4 hours!! I was exhausted.
I hope tomorrow I can relax a bit.
Thank you for reading♡